I would be lying if I said it didn't still hurt and I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have anxiety and sadness running through my veins as I write this because I do. Graduating college is the breakup I will never get over; I will forever be the ex-girlfriend who refused to let go.
When I first graduated I went into a severe depression and I'm pretty sure I took it the worst out of all my friends. It wasn't until last year, 2 years in, that I felt ok with not going back to campus and I owe that to the fact that most of my friends were long gone as well, and I was comfortable with my life.
I had a job I loved, I was still hanging out with my friends, and was keeping myself busy. I no longer longed for the feeling of my old apartment or Friday nights at the bar; I was ok.
Today, I am ok but that doesn't mean I don't miss it.
I've visited my campus two times over the past few months to visit old friends and catch up with my sorority sisters and it was glorious. Whenever I drive passed my campus I'm overcome with tears but a true joy. My happiness hits a new level when I drive down North Avenue and I think that's how it will be forever.
When I walk down the street, it doesn't feel like a day has passed. It is so natural for me to be there and to be with my friends.
College made me who I am today; it gave me my friends and it taught me lots of lessons. I had so much fun and those memories will last me a lifetime. College truly was the greatest 4 years of my life, and I'm not being dramatic when I say I don't know if I will ever get that high back.
3 years later, I'm still at the same job I've been at for the past two years, I still talk to all of my friends and we still are creating new memories together. I'm still living at home which is ok with me; I'm not in a rush to move out to a small apartment with roommates when I can live comfortably at home with my mom and sister (who are basically like roommates because we're 3 adults with separate lives and my mom doesn't hound us like a typical mom)
3 years later, I'm coming into my own. I've had a lot of curveballs thrown at me and I'm learning to deal with them on an adult level. I'm not the same girl I was 3 years ago, but part of her will always live inside me because she holds the key to everything I've learned.
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| This is my Map Necklace, with the address of my college My aunt who also went to Iona bought this for me for graduation |
I love my school, I love my friends, and I loved my life at Iona College. 3 years later, that has not changed and it never will, but I'm learning to let go a little bit because it's unhealthy to live in the past.
3 years is a long time but not really, because everything is still clear as day.
To all the seniors graduating this year, take it all in. Cherish every minute from now until you walk across the stage. Don't be scared because it will ok... eventually.
To all the rising college students, don't take anything for granted. Do everything you can do to create memories. Stay out till 5 AM if you have an 8 AM class because it won't really matter in a few years; have fun, take a shot, and be involved. Your time is limited at that place you call home and eventually, it will evaporate into thin air but with good people by your side, that home will always live in your heart.
xoxo
B
PS: Below is some articles/posts I've written about graduating and post-grad life. I highly recommend reading them if you're scared shitless!
- Letter to My 17 Year Old Self
- Things I Learned Throughout College
- Nostaglic Thoughts
- Post Grade Update #1
- I Just Graduated Now What: Book Review *THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT BOOK YOU'LL EVER READ. BUY IT NOW
- 2014 in Review: Lessons Learned
- What to Do if You Graduate Without a Job
- Job Search: Where to Start
- Post Grad Update: 1 Year
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